Life has abrupt endings and sometimes not so abrupt ones. Whatever the case, when you lose a loved one, how much ever you prepare yourself for the loss, it will be unbearable. The former will most probably be the worst. You will be in such a state of shock that with every passing second you will digest the fact of the loss only to feel worse!

As someone, who has had to deal with the loss of two very dear relatives, I felt the lack of guidance on how to deal with it, lacking. And so, here I am writing to all those just like myself a few years ago on how to deal with the loss of a loved one. 

Accept it

The first step is to accept the fact that you have lost that person. You need to accept that your loved one is not going to return to you. And that there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do to bring them back from the dead. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to go into denial. When you start to deny the reality, the truth is going to hit you harder than when you accept it, bit by bit. So make sure you calm yourself and then force yourself to accept the truth.

Share your feelings

Once the truth hits you, you are going to be one big balloon of emotions awaiting to burst! So the best way I would advise you to avoid throwing hysterical frenzy is to share what you are feeling with the others. The more you talk about it, the more you will be able to let out the grief and the sadness. Keep in mind that the more you lock in your feelings the worse you feel. The best time to talk would be during the quality memorial speeches that will be given. 

Give your loved one a funeral they deserve

Making sure that you are completely satisfied with the funeral that you are giving your loved one, will make it a tad bit easier to accept the loss. With every action that you do in honour of the one you lost, the reality will sink in. and try to get them a custom gravestone as it will be one way of showing them of the love that others have on him/her and the impact they have made in others’ lives. It will definitely be an honourable send off!

Remember the others around you

Keep in mind that the loss of a loved and dear one, is not the end of the world. There are others around you that may need even more. For instance, you may have kids depending on you. So you need to not only remain calm, you need to no lose control of yourself. You need to remind yourself of the other responsibilities that you bear. And the other things in life that you need to achieve. You need to remind yourself to look forward and go ahead, if not for yourself, for the sake of your other loved ones.